Defending Interracial Relationships, Angel Reese, and the wide Spectrum of Black Experiences in the wake of the RGIII versus Ryan Clark, F.D. Signifier, et al., debates on Angel Reese vs Caitlin Clark Situation. Discussions on Double Standards held over Black Men with White Women, Accusations of Fetishism, etc. by MRG Staff

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#angelreese #caitlinclark #ryanclark #rgiii #sports #race #interracial #families #logic

RGIII received backlash for comments, and I want to say they were about Angel Reese mostly. RGIII chimed in on the Angel Reese versus Caitlin Clark rivalry – which is largely manufactured by social media – by using themes to describe Reese with what many would call caricatures of black women. These are the allegations. Supposedly, RGIII even before this Angel Reese situation may have done some sort of caricature of black women, but I have not found anything, but who knows.

However, watching the following video by RGIII (the first video below), what he is saying is not bad at all. Maybe Angel Reese DOES hate Caitlin Clark, and if not a hate for her, but rather being associated with her? Even for the people supporting Angel Reese, just thinking about your personal life and think to a time where a person simply hated you because…they just did. These things exist. So, I do not see RGIII’s comments as being anti-black, though he his assuming things, but a lot of people turned it into RGIII being a “self-hating black man, notably because he has a white wife”. This of course unleashed psychopaths like Umar Johnson, whose only claim to fame is talking about race, and notably rallying against interracial marriages.

In the video, RGIII actually praises Aliyah Boston, who is a black woman, and even compares Angel Reese to NBA legend Isaiah Thomas of the Detroit Pistons.

But let’s entertain that RGIII was being unfair to Angel Reese.

The idea goes is that Angel Reese’s competitiveness, attitude, and swagger is seen as being “ghetto” or “ratchet” behavior, which are often negative stereotypes applied to black women for simply participating in competitive spaces, where one could argue the most competitive space is the daily grind of life in general.

RGIII essentially used the “Shaniqua” trope to describe Angel Reese’s on-court persona, where this trope is often depicted as a very loud, in your face, and “unproper” person, where properness often centers around adhering to what some may consider the culture of the majority, i.e., white people.

This is why many black people defended Angel Reese and I will also defend her on these grounds.

Angel has gotten a lot of hate, and even if she is not the greatest player of all time, in a sport like basketball (which I played growing up), to be honest, some of the most iconic players were what we consider to be “goons”, i.e., the enforcers. Goons are a part of basketball culture and mythology, and even if Reese is not a standard “goon”, or maybe she is not that all, the truth is her style is a strategic part of basketball play. Intimidation is often as vital as skill on the court. Angel has won awards such as Rookie of the Month in 2024, WBNA Player of the Week in 2024, and won accolades for her play in the WNBA All Star Game.

This will sound overly intellectual, but Angel is being defended by black people because they see her being unapologetically black, because blackness has been seen as the traditional lesser position to whiteness within American or Western society, where American or New World societies of note where often built upon a racial-colorist caste system framework.

But even though it is good to defend Angel on these grounds, people also have to understand that people may not like her, and race isn’t a part of the equation.

Race aside, some people simply don’t like her. They may not like her face, her smile, etc. It’s petty but it is what it is.

Multiple things can be true at the same time and people not treating reality as such is what is annoying to be frank. (1) Yes, RGIII could have made a tacky commentary on Angel Reese by inserting the Shaniqua stereotype, though I don’t hear him doing that in his video, (2) Angel Reese regardless of race may not be very likeable to many people on factors that aren’t racial in nature, (3) Some people may be criticizing Angel Reese because of veiled racism, (4) people will defend Angel Reese regardless of her actions and may have blinders on her actions because they see themselves in her, etc. There are even more things we could probably think of.

I understand Reese defenders. Being black, bold, confident, or even cocky are not bad characteristics, and the irony is that these characteristics are often mythologized in other American cultures, for example the mythology pertaining to Americal rural, frontier, and county culture, cowboys, what have you. Sure, people will say such archetypes often presents a type of stoicism or the “strong and silent type” (which could be debated), yet still, being confident is a virtue in American life due to its history of homesteading, exploration, conquests, capitalism, etc.

People are defending Reese because they feel she is the victim of a double-standard and cognitive dissonance, i.e., by cognitive dissonance that being the phycological term that describes discomfort or tension a person feels when their beliefs, values or attitudes conflict with their actions or new information. Angel emulates values many hold dear but because they seem them in her they up feeling repulsed about those ideals or that they see her an unworthy cupbearer of those virtues.

America hails certain behaviors as virtuous but sometimes when black women and men emulate those very virtues we hold dear, black people are then turned into indicators of being dishonorable, or that black people can’t quite master the refinery of these virtues to the degree to approval as proscribed by the white majority as far as the United States goes (side note: such anti-black sentiments can be found in non-European cultures as well, but often Black Critical Theorists forget this since their main source of analysis is often framed against white supremacy).

I call it the Denzel Effect. Denzel Washington exuded a type of cool, cocky masculinity that wasn’t always appreciated in film, but those same virtues found in let’s say a John Wayne (a noted racist by the way) are perceived differently.

Regardless, despite the Angel Reese versus Caitlin Clark drama, where I feel both women are role models for young girls across the globe to be active in team sports, and I suspect behind closed doors that both women have a respect for each other, the fact still remains that RGIII is being accused of pushing this “Shaniqua” trope on black women. However, I can’t find much evidence of this.

It is made worst – visually speaking – to many Pro-Reese types, because of RGIII’s marriage to a white woman, so the perception of RGIII pushing “Shaniqua” tropes, instantly makes him a target, where he is attacked for “not being black enough” or a “sell out”.

People reduced his criticism of Angel Reese towards him hating black women, which does not seem to be THE CASE AT ALL, but it can appear that way.

People used RGIII’s comments on sports between Angel and Caitlin Clark to spin-off an adjacent conversation relating to interracial relationships, which seems unnecessary, but also boring.

I say boring because it is easy click bait, especially in black circles to talk about Interracial relationships. I feel we have better things to talk about (e.g., learning about AI, how to invest money, to use tools, studying art, whatever, etc.), but often lots of black pop cultural discourse revolves around…. drama, and not actually learning skills to improve our lives. The main topics of black discourse are (1) black men fighting with black women, (2) interracial relationships, (3) accusing each other of being gay, (4) racism, slavery, and white people, and maybe a good dose of (5) conspiracy theories. Seriously. It seems very black spaces only talk about these things.

This is where two people who will be central to this paper come into play. One being NFL Veteran, Ryan Clark, and the other being YouTube content creator, FD Signifier.

Ryan Clark (not verbatim) stated that RGIII has a fetish for white women as he learned from his locker room experiences with RGIII (e.g., RGIII allegedly calling himself “the Milk Man”).

Clark also made an affirmative claim that black men who date outside their race will never understand a black woman because they are not married to one.

Clark got some push back, just for him to later show a photo of his first-born biracial daughter he bore with a white woman, to show that he was not being prejudiced, but some people claimed this move was the equivalent of a white person saying something racist and then saying “I am not racist. I have a black friend”.

My rebuttal to Ryan Clark is that even if RGIII allegedly has a fetishism for white women, first off that is an RGIII issue and not indicative of other people and their interracial relationships.

Sure, Clark did not outright say this, and this may not have been his intent, but he needs to be aware that many people who are his fans will take his words to come to such a conclusion because they do not support Interracial relationships and will do anything to discourage them from happening.

Two wrongs don’t make a right. Even if RGIII was wrong for his Angel Reese opinion (which I do not think he is wrong), and even if he is being wrong about his alleged “white fetishism”, it doesn’t make it right to reduce the lived experiences of others in interracial relationships, knowing the hurdles that interracial couples often face.

As stated, even if that was not Ryan Clark’s intent, I am simply holding him to the same standard he held RGIII too.

For example, RGIII did not explicitly talk about black women in a negative light, but rather people went extra and beyond, and extrapolated that he was demeaning black women.

Basically, people read too deep into what RGIII was saying and turned into a larger intersectional, i.e., “woke” conversation about race, sexuality, etc. So, even though Clark did not explicitly say that interracial relationships are wrong, one could read deeper into his words, same as he read deeper into RGIII’s words, and come to the conclusion that Clark is helping promote hatred towards people in interracial relationships.

Let’s entertain the idea that RGIII did generalize, but Clark just turned around and generalized himself with this claim that “black men who date outside their race, can’t understand black women”.

I felt Clark said this more so to wink to “Black Twitter” (which is a real thing but also a euphemism for majority online black spaces) to rally to his call, knowing that there is already a pre-existing disdain for interracial relationships within certain elements of the black community, which are exemplified by the recent infamy and fame of figures such as Umar Johnson (where memes of Umar are often used online to show disapproval of black men with white women, i.e., “snow bunnies”).

Clark essentially went low, then called upon others to back him up, knowing they were going to back him up regardless because of a disdain towards white women in some black circles. Clark realizes that in our modern “Buy Black” “Support Black” this-or-that era, which has merit, that a lot of black people will support him regardless of any flaws in his takes. I want black people to succeed just as much as anyone, but I also want it to be based on rationality, rather than pure “you’re with us, or against us” passion and emotionalism.

Clark was being Machiavellian to a degree. I suspect that he sees RGIII as part of his competition in the sports commentary industry, so Clark to vanquish RGIII, pulled the race card, so that RGIII cannot talk on black issues. Clark basically said (without saying) that RGIII is not qualified enough to talk about this, because he doesn’t have something I have (a black wife), so listen to me, Mr. Clark, see – I have a black wife, and ignore RGIII. It was something that ruthless middle managers in corporations do with each other as they jockey for more influence. This is all complicated further by the viral nature of online culture with algorithms, etc., which at this point seem to incentivize toxic conversations.

ON FETISHES

But when it comes to words like fetish, people often use the word fetish as a derogatory attack on people to insinuate that their attraction is a type of mental disease, perversion, brainwashing, etc.

The goal of anti-interracial people is to create as much discomfort, awkwardness, shame, etc., to force social compliance to rigid racial hierarchies, boundaries, borders, etc.

Haphazardly throwing around the word fetish helps inspire bigots who’s only prerogative is to paint interracial relationship in a pejorative light.

Even if RGIII has an actual fetish (which should have remained confidential locker room talk between teammates), it does not mean that others do, but the truth is that many people who are against interracial relationships often WANT to push this “fetish” trope as the only reasons interracial relationships exists.

On a separate note, why isn’t Ryan Clark being called out for revealing confidential talks from the locker room? If Clark can reveal this, what else will he reveal about others, or what will we learn about Mr. Clark?

But, back to using the word fetish to describe interracial relationships, it is a form sex shaming people into compliance, and even though I do not have any empirical evidence, from my qualitative experiences, I notice the trope that “interracial relationships are fetishes” is often pushed by white men (patriarchs) and black women (matriarchs), where these two groups can be seen as the de facto leaders of their racial groups for various reasons, and feel entitled to own their sexual counterparts as something akin to resources.

I agree with Clark in his defense of Angel Reese, and sure, maybe RGIII likely has some sort of fetish, but even if he as a fetish, that is RGIII’s prerogative.

However, to go a bit off track, is having a fetish a bad thing?

It seems like a very subjective thing. I believe all humans have fetishes, however, we as a society do consider some fetishes to be antisocial, i.e., against the limits of what is tolerable and acceptable to humans, and interestingly our morals can be viewed through “property law”. For example, we consider certain things antisocial if they go against children, animals, the mentally delayed, those with physical handicaps, etc., because these groups, especially children, have limitations on consenting and have limitations within their development. We also consider things to be antisocial that are truly irregular towards conducive, safe and/or honest human interactions such as sociopathy, psychopathy, narcissistic personality disorders, etc.

In the context of sexuality, some people have slight fetishes (i.e., sexual attractors they can live without) one could argue, and others have deeply rooted, conscious or unconscious, and required fetishes (i.e., sexual attractors needed to function sexually or even socially outside of the realms of sexuality).

From women in fishnet stockings or yoga pants, to men with chest hair, to high heels, to even dimples, people have a wide swath of things that could be considered a fetish, and sure, race or color, could be a type of one. But why is that a bad thing even if so? And even if so, for others, it does not mean that desiring a person or loving a person of another race qualifies as a fetish, except for the fact that people can argue that everything is subjective, and others will simply throw out the word fetish to spite those in interracial relationships.

For example, let’s play a logic game. Let’s say that Ryan Clark (and, also FD Signifier who I will get to later) will only date black women. Ok. Nothing wrong with that. That is their preference.

I see nothing wrong with that as long as people are not verbally expressing some sort of disdain for people who do counter to this, even though it is a person’s free speech to express things in this way.

So, for Clark or FD Signifier, I am sure there is something about their spouses that they fetishize. All human desire has some level of objectification, even if their (i.e., people like FD Signifier, etc.) rebuttal to this claim is that what they are actually desiring is the “subjectivity” of a person.

Such rebuttals seem to insinuate that subjectivity respects the empowered agency of the target of desire, whereas objectification is about reducing such agency for the unilateral pleasure of the targeting agent. Getting lost in the objectivity versus subjectivity debate seems unnecessary, so I won’t waste too much there.

So… let’s say that Clark, FD Signifier, or anyone who doesn’t engage in “Swirling” (which is a quasi-black euphemism for interracial relationships) desire their black wives, then I am sure there is something about their wives they fetishize, whether it is an action or a physical characteristic.

For example, black women are known for having “large buttocks” or being more voluptuous as in relation to other women such as white women. This truth, stereotype, what have you, is something embedded into Americal cross-racial discourse, e.g., black women saying white women have “flat asses”.

So, let’s say black men who only date black women desire their black woman’s curves because they see it as something better than what is available outside of their race. Is this not technically a fetish? Even emphasizing a desire around “beautiful black skin” or “fair white skin” could be considered fetish.

Where I am getting at is that it seems people who don’t like interracial relationships are fine with “intra-racial fetishism”, but not “interracial fetishism”, but the fact remains that one could argue that all desire has levels of fetishism, since objectification seems intrinsic to human consciousness.

I am no expert on Continental Philosophy (more concerning existentialism, phenomenology, ontology, etc.) or Analytical Philosophy (often concerning cogitation, logic, and linguistics), but the human propensity for objectification has both existential implications as well as implications concerning the very being of human cognition itself.

Essentially there is a reason we objectify things, fetishize things, etc., and it can be explained in rational, empiricist, and scientific means as well as through metaphysical quandary.

I am defining “fetishism” as the “pornification of inquiry” where we as observant sentient beings, and as objects in a world of objects, create a relationship as an observer towards an object that is being observed, where the very object being observed and the action of observing the thing, whatever it is, creates a para-social relationship, to the point of being required for the observer to function.

A fetish is simply a curiosity of things that is metabolized or internalized so much so by the observer that the observer is assisted in functioning when performing a task, but the degree of assistance varies from person to person (e.g., some may not be reliant on a fetish at all, whereas others may be dependent upon it). Sexual intercourse is a task, hence why we put so much emphasis on studying sexual fetishizes, but my definition can be applied outside the area of sexuality to pretty much any other aspect of human existence. But I can admit my definition in debatable, and has gaps, I am sure.

But, back to Clark, RGII, FD Signifier, etc., there is another logical flaw in Clark’s rebuttal to RGIII which is that Clark made an affirmative claim that black men who don’t marry black women cannot understand black women.

This is problematic to me because not all relationships need to be sexual to understand a person.

There are fraternal, paternal, etc., types of relationships. I am no Freudian psychologist, but my understanding is that Freud argued that a child’s, notably a boy’s first love, is his mother, hence the concept of Oedipus Complexes, and for females the concept of Electra Complexes.

Regardless, saying that marrying a black woman is the only way to understand a black woman is a form of purity testing, because it allows Clark, FD Signifier, et al., the ability to take a higher position when it comes to discussing black issues (even if their logic is flawed in any arguments), since a lot of black conversation and debates requires a level of approval from black women.

Essentially, Clark praising black women is appealing to the biases and desires of black women, so they are more likely to support his claims even if there’s logical flaws in his arguments because Clark is essentially fawning them.

This fawning strategy can be applied to any type of debate. It is effectively a strategy in debate. You are greasing the crowd by appealing to their internal desires, so they are more likely to believe your arguments. Another similar tactic at winning debates or winning “buy-in” from audiences is to use self-deprecation to disarm an audience, garner sympathy, protect the egos of “Alphas”, etc.

But that aside, many black men have relationships with their mothers, sisters, co-workers, extended family members, classmates, etc.

Saying that not marrying a black woman prohibits a person from understanding black women actually reduces the impact of other non-romantic types of relationships, where I would argue the most important relationship, that of a mother, is something that most black men will experience and gain a lot of their understanding about black women from.

Even for men who marry black women, a lot of what we learned is from our black maternal-like figures, since our mothers and grandmothers were, and were conversing with, black female culture, be it their own lived experiences and towards what they preferred to watch in the media, etc.

Having marriage to a black woman be the prerequisite in having a say in black conversations, actually widens the gap between black peoples, rather than bridging them together.

And, what about single people? Do single black men or single black women, not have any say because they aren’t in relationships?

I am simply pointing out the gaps in Clark’s claim which are reductionist.

But, if Clark can say that black men who date outside of their race do not understand black females then, then why can’t we say it in reverse for black women who date outside their race?

Are we really going to say that Venus Williams, who was crip walking at the Super Bowl during Kendrik Lamar’s performance, where Williams is from Compton California, is somehow not black for marrying a white man? Are we really going to argue that Eve from rap group Ruff Riders, is not black for marrying a white multi-millionaire? Are we really going to say that Alfree Woodard, known for playing black matriarch roles such as in Spike Lee’s Crooklyn does not understand black men because she is married to a white man? No.

The truth is that there is double-standard applied to black men because the truth seems to be that all groups on planet Earth, black women included, have some problem with black men due to the depictions and de-humanization of black men, first through white supremacy, but later though the hegemonic spreading of global capitalism (rooted historically in white supremacy) that spreads negative images about black men, where black men don’t control the mediums that spread negative images about them.

This double-standard of black men with white-women as opposed to black women with white men, or any other race with members of other races, can also be considered patriarchal, because what many people are saying, notably black people who don’t approve of interracial relationship, are insinuating that black men should be controlling their sexual opposites.

This type of patriarchy against interracial relationship can be observed in many black nationalist movements, where women often take a secondary role to patriarchal men. Better put, many advocates against interracial relationships, notably in black nationalist politics, are against interracial relationships because they feel men should be dominating their sexual counterparts of the same race.

This sentiment can be seen in the resurgent movement of polygamy within black nationalist circles, where such polygamist circles are often adjacent or firmly within Right Wing Men’s Rights (i.e., The Manosphere, or Red Pill) communities. For example, Umar Johnson, a known advocate against interracial relationships, and Brother Nathaniel, the leader of the black nationalist group, Israelites United in Christ (IUIC), advocates for polygamy, but notably for Brother Nathaniel, it is based in his interpretation of Biblical patriarchy over women.

The rebuttal to my arguments concerning this double-standard that falls more harshly on black men with white women, can be seen loosely in rhetoric by FD Signifier where he will say, “Well, black men date more disproportionately outside of their race than black women do. It’s not even close”.

My rebuttal in turn is that black men have been more so victimized by white supremacy because black men are seen more so as a physical threat to it, so black women actually with white men (which I support) can actually amplify the effects of white supremacy.

So, if white supremacy and patriarchy are the main culprits of most black inquiry, notably based on a dialectical way of thinking (i.e., analysis based on opposites, contradictions, etc.), then a black woman with a white man actually amplifies white supremacy, more so than any black man with a white woman.

But I don’t hate on black woman with white men. If anything as a black man I almost give a nod of “cool” approval, because that white man has shown himself as possibly loving, thus seeing as equal, the black community. I never see black women with non-white people as being “treasonous”, an act of betrayal, etc.

Being consistent to the logic of most black Critical Theory, I do have a point.

The truth is that white supremacy does not want black men with white women, whereas if a white man is with a person of another color, it is almost an exercising of white privilege because white men are often given a pass.

Even if a white supremacist does not like that a white man dates outside his race, they will not do anything about it because that white man is still exercising a type of privilege that other types of men of other races are denied. White supremacy is an ideology of power that is indifferent to equality. It is not based on fairness or equality but power. The white supremacist does not care so as long as the privileges and preferential double-standards of their system still favors them.

I hate to compare modern interracial relationships to slavery, because this a bad habit many modern Critical theorists have, but to make an example, think about a white plantation owner with a black woman, versus a black male slave with any white woman regardless of class. The penalty for the black man was always going to be castration, death, etc., whereas there was no consequence for white men.

I like to say that white men have free reign to “colonize p-ssy”, which historically is the case from black females’ slaves, native Africans such as those modern day South African (which created the mixed-race Colored demographic), to Asian woman, Indigenous Aboriginal Australians, etc. White men have doing whatever they want forever, but if black men do it, not only do they get shamed (or, killed) by white supremacy, but also by their sexual internal counterparts give them grief, etc.

Black men were literally killed for being white woman, whereas the penalty has never been the same for white men.

So, even if black men currently do date outside their race at higher levels, per Left Wing logic, the structural impact will never be the same as that of a black woman, essentially emboldening white supremacy and patriarchy.

Which is why it dangerous to reduce people’s love, emotions, etc., to intellectual frameworks. People simply use intellectualism to make their personal hates sound smarter than what they actually are.

For example, in media, black men with white women are often used to shame interracial relationships, by reducing black male-white female relationships to comically absurd fetishes. There is also the racist slogan of insinuating that white women with black men will be raising children in single parent households.

For example, there is the famous meme of Piper Perri, a pornographic actress before a group sex scene with black men, being used by various people to caricature female desires because most male insecurity involves female sexuality, so shaming women is a means of protecting the male ego, or “id”.

The meme or memes like them are about shaming women, black men, etc., but done so in a sinisterly playful way that gives the person who uses it plausible deniability that they aren’t insecure, because “it’s just a joke”, harmless fun, or postmodern pastiche.

This meme is often used not only to “make fun” and reduce black male-white female relationships for the benefit of male egos, but notably the male egos of non-black men in general.

Even the show Family Guy has made fun of white women preparing to be “gangbanged” by a group of black men.

At a certain point the use of such tropes tells more about the fears of society, with that being (A) black male sexuality being seen as more masculine, thus it poses a threat to the deification of white male honor, thus black male sexuality has to be shamed as naturally “evil”, “diseased”, “wild”, or degenerate, and (B) a fear about female sexual choice, where patriarchy reduces women to simple sexual objects for male use, but notably as incubators for sustained racial majority, i.e., ensuring more “pure white babies” are born to maintain racial dominance.

The irony is that white men, notably in the porn industry, have privilege, such as models being paid more to have sex with black men because of the perceived taboo and fears of hurting a woman’s career. However, such issues have been addressed or at least talked about as being problematic by many adult performers, so this issue is nothing new, and the adult industry seems more inclusive of non-white male voices than it did previously.

A person could easily make a meme of white men preparing to gangbang a black, Asian, or Hispanic woman, but you often don’t see these being shared throughout the zeitgeist, where part of our zeitgeist, does involve your run-of-the-mill (mostly non-black male) online trolls (for example, 4Chan or 8Chan culture, where these Chan-sites are often associated with Alt-Right and white supremacist politics).

These memes are even used by black people often within the Right-Wing oriented Manosphere, where figures such as Fresh and Fit of the Fresh and Fit Podcast, or even more moderate figure such as Aba and Preach, use tropes of “gangs of black men having sex with white women” to shame feminism, but also promote an irrational fear in young men that their women are likely to cheat/commit adultery on them.

Many people use memes of black men with white women to socially shame people, but white men in the same scene get a free pass.

Interracial relationships between black men and white women if utilizing a Left-Wing framework is actually a revolutionary act one could argue by subverting white male patriarchy considering all of the historical violence and effort exercised towards preventing black male-white female relations. Thus, more interracial relationships is a sign of progressive change in society at large, even if intra-racial relationships are still the majority.

More irony is that the more accepting people are of interracial relationships, it could be argued as an acceptance of blackness overall, because the divide between seeing black and white as polar opposites is reduced.

More irony to the situation is that many tenants of Black Liberation politics which uses Left Wing frameworks often dissuades from positively acknowledging interracial relationships, because certain schools of Left Wing thought advocates for “Self Determination” – often as an extension of Anti and Post-Colonial thought.

Essentially, Left Wing thought can promote racial segregation, but instead of it being based on Right Wing “top down” hierarchal modes of segregation between races, the Left-Wing version of segregation is “flat” “non hierarchal” “intersectional”, etc.

Who would have thought that the Left Wing promotes…. Separate but Equal?

FG SIGNIFIER AGAIN PROVES HE’S INTERESTED IN AGITATION RATHER THAN GROWING AS A PERSON

FD Signifier for example in his video titled: “What are we going to do about these Coons“, to me expresses this yearning within certain Left Wing, notably Black nationalists’ circles. This video, FD chimes in on the RGIII comment drama, which to me isn’t much of drama at all, but goes to show how some black people will jump on anything to talk about race.

FD Signifier uses this recent video to segway back towards an earlier video with other creators he was on which alleged that you could tell if a black man dates a white woman by how well their hair is maintained, i.e., how fresh their cut is.

Somewhat funny, the truth is that FD was actually purity testing by trying to insinuate that only corny black men date outside their race, so he, of course is somehow naturally better?

I commented on his page that if you can judge a person’s hair cut as them being more likely to date a white woman, then can I say that you as a slightly pudgy black man, who looks like my mother with braids, can be predicted to be a Communist?

First off, as a black man, calling another black a Coon is absurd, but for people who are not black, I need to stress that certain things about black culture may seem like “anti-matter” to you. Black people often use these terms, which were and are still used by white supremacist/anti-black people in general (who can be non-white) against black people, as a means of black people reminding other black people they see as too comfortable with their dialectical foe (white people) that they are still black.

It is a reason why black people use the N word, though the N word is often used – allegedly – in an “endearing” way. Black people have coopted white supremacist language and some of it like the N word are used in endearing ways while other words are used to shame people as a means of reminding black people that they are black. Using such words equates to the linguistic form of the “Tall Poppy Syndrome”, i.e., a culture that “chops people” don’t to size so they never feel more special than that of the collective. For reasons across the spectrum, some petty, and some that could be based on some type “intellectual pragmatism”, are used to keep black people in their place.

FD Signifier, as a Black Nationalist, has a lot of blind spots in this analysis of black culture.

For example, in his video FD talks about how black military brats often get messed up and insecure about their race and turn into RGIII. This is partially true, but also debatable. Black children may suffer from issues of identity if not in an environment that affirming and accepting of what we consider to be traditional black culture, but FD almost has their belief that growing up in black environment guarantees you may wind up “messed up”. He seems to believe growing up around white people is the same as Native Americans forced in schools where they were forced to assimilate. His assumptions often seem to erase nuance and complexity.

Black children may feel the dilemma of fitting in with their more segregated black counterparts because they have been exposed to other cultures (fashion, music, lifestyles, subcultures, etc.), have more economic certainty, and live in statistically safer environments, etc.

What FD doesn’t understand as he tries to oversimplify things is that black military brats still have black parents who are often still connected to their black roots, with many having been enlisted from urban inner city black communities or rural black communities.

FD signifier talking about military brats, has some merit, but it also diminishes the truth that many black families in the military as still connected to their roots.

But F.D. not having served, having been a military brat, not being a two-parent household, and not living in a truly multiracial environment…assumes things.

As a person who served myself, grew up in the military, and is around the same age group as FD himself, I can attest that the military is…. pretty black.

That’s well known. The military often recruits from the poor classes and statistically, black people as far as wealth are in near last place (though we can argue about what is wealth, how studies were conducted, etc.).

Many black officers are from Historically Black Colleges and Universities which have esteemed ROTC programs such as Tuskegee with US Air Force ROTC or Morehouse with Navy ROTC.

Many black military members are also involved with Black Fraternal and Masonic organizations. FD when talking about RGIII did talk about anything of this because HE DOES NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS.

He assumes a lot of things, but his target audience are what I call “White liberals searching for black authenticity” with what I call “Take Me To Your Leader Mentality“, and woke – sometimes but not always black – people who more addicted to woke frameworks of thinking, which at this point as devolving in online shame culture to suffice for the fact the woke Left has failed in making actual real-world structural change. Something of course that FD has said he is incapable of solving or fixing.

And I say this as a military brat from a two-parent black household with an inner city raised mother and country “rural” raised father.

FD Signifier who seems to emphasis qualitative research like most Left-Wing sociologists, but I suspect that FD already has his conclusions in minds and wants his work, video essays, etc., to moonwalk or back up into those conclusions, so he has to have a degree of blind spots in his analysis to justify his preconceived presuppositions.

If I had to explain FD, he is a race-realist, dialectical materialist and Critical theorist, who has a palatable platform enough to not be relegated to the fringes of black nationalist discourse. A lot of what FD would say on race, I suspect a lot of white supremacists would agree with, because if self-determination means not being around black people, then they are for it. This is no different than George Lincoln Rockwell of the American Nazi Party working with the Nation of Islam, and even helping give seed money to N.O.I., black only farms in rural Georgia.

If FD can make an assumption on black military brats or black suburbanites, then I can make an assumption about his.

Coming from a single female parent household in the Chicagoland area, which is an area known for its history of Northern based racial segregation – when analyzing a person such as RGIII, Mr. Signifier has a propensity for assuming what it must have been like to have not been raised in explicitly black spaces.

FD deeply wants to believe without saying it directly that black people who aren’t raised in explicitly or majority black spaces like him seemed to be lacking in purity or authenticity, yet purity and authenticity are subjective things.

The irony is that he as a Leftist, would espouse ideas such as “everything being on a spectrum”, yet, when it comes to black lived experiences, he seems to not understand this, and even if so, his own personal biases make him uncomfortable in admitting that his vision of blackness is not the entire vision of it. I can hear it in his voice.

It makes you think that maybe even certain aspects of Left Wing (what we consider as liberal) politics are just a different shade of the same thing but used by those who actually controls things to create disunity amongst the general population. For example, Black Lives Matters is a concept I support, because I always understood that it meant “Black Lives Matters too”, and not “Black Lives Matters only”, yet the effects of BLM, for an array of incalculable reasons, did help re-solidify white supremacy, because such a bold slogan was seen by many people as explicitly a dismissal of their own misery, lives, etc., which weren’t in black bodies.

Even though the Left Wing is good intentioned in brining topics such as cultural appropriation, white privilege, patriarchy, imperialism, environmental racism, and gentrification to forefront of discourse, the Left Wing is also very bad, if not unapologetic, in the adverse effects of their messaging campaigns. Maybe this is because human emotion and feelings could be argued by some extreme Left-Wing voices (such as Marxist voices) as being…. bourgeoise and counter revolutionary. For such as theoretical person, feelings and emotions are often the constructs helping to prop up systems of oppression by prioritizing individual emotional comfort over the needs of the collective proletariat. And, let’s say, sure, this argument has merit, the fact still remains that it has consequences.

Despite the Far Left having pushed the needle forward in many good ways, and I would argue the Left Wing has “elevated consciousness” (notably a popularization and normalization of socialist analysis in American life), they have also enabled a complete opposite and dialectical reaction. MAGA for instance is essentially pro-imperialist, gentrification, and white identity politics, and the Left is now in a malaise, still arguing about if it is wise to go the intersectional route or the class-consciousness route. I would argue we’ve had enough intersectional conversations and should go to class consciousness because it seems the only method left in bringing on structural reform.

Better put, we have never truly tried a racially blind and unified, class-oriented movement, largely because of the infighting of the “intersectional-ist” faction. And many people may cringe at the words “racially blind”, but I am not saying “unaware”, i.e., unaware of the importance of applying intersectional analysis towards alleviating oppression, but rather…. we’ve talked enough already, and talking about identity politics has only given us heightened awareness, but not structural change.

I wouldn’t be surprised for example if Clark, FD Signifier, Umar Johnson, etc., were explicitly told by their black mothers to not date outside of their race. If so, then I guess they learned something about black women without needing to be married one.

End Notes

Disclaimer: I am tired of talking about race. However, there are many people online whose identities and career are explicitly based around race, and these people often need to be challenged. I consider myself something akin to a “radical abolitionist”, i.e., who is a Left-Wing progressive, however, I am cautious about the over usage of intersectional frameworks, however, as a person of color (but even if I were not one), I see value in intersectional thinking. However, ideology aside, on a person-to-person level, I think that many hateful or “troll like” figures hide behind ideology to sound smart, but really these are just…racist, prejudiced, etc., and some of these people can be on the Political Left, be they “Far Leftists” (Communists, Marxists, etc.), or milquetoast “Center Leftist” liberals. Ideology often veils desires, insecurity, biases, and people’s selfish will-to-power. We have to be honest that we all do this to an extent. I support Black liberation, empowerment, etc., because black people…deserve it considering how we as a people were literally designed to be the “Ying to the Yang” of white people (a concept I have talked about before), i.e., we as black people were manufactured to be an internalized foe to help justify, inspire, and motivate white supremacy as an ontological construct. We were designed to be hated and having been incubated in hatred (literally within the equivalent of prison conditions for centuries), we as a community do have deep rooted trauma, which we even as black people towards black people hurt each other with.

To really understand what I am saying in this post, we have to ask, “What is America to me?”. This will sound “brainy” or quasi-intellectual, but I think it will make sense to you.

The United States is built upon a post-colonial, psycho-sexual racial caste system, which emphasizes “racial dialectics” as a means of controlling and organizing the population in a way the serves the interests of the capitalist class. The capitalist class – once called the aristocratic and gentry class, but later euphemistically called “the one percent” – uses psychological warfare, notably around agitation-propaganda to create intersectional division, so economic class consciousness can never take hold to threaten the wealth of elites. For example, figures such as W.E.B. DuBois spoke about how the white poor often defended the white rich, because the white poor were given a “wage of whiteness”, i.e., social privileges above others, even if the white poor were voting against their own economic interests by supporting elites. Separately, what I mean by “psycho-sexual”, is not in some Freudian sense about childhood development, but rather a psychological system built upon sexual insecurities that are nuanced along racial lines, where the awkwardness created from this system helps to veil and protect the power and privileges of white patriarchy within European colonial nations. The USA is built upon a fear of black male sexuality and the control of white female sexuality. These two groups pose the largest threats to the existing white patriarchal order (side note: I am not hating on white men, but rather a system catered towards their needs at the expense of others), which is why there was so much historical emphasis on shaming and preventing these types of relationships. Ironically, within certain left-wing circles, more visually seen within Black Liberation politics, there is constant theme of talking about black male-white female relationships, which one could argue is about a fear of cultural erasure or “appropriation”, but in essence these types of Leftists are perpetuating the same hatred towards black male-white female relationships that are existent within white supremacy. Even though the arguments are coming from different angles, vantage points, ideologies, etc., the similarity is that both sides want to limit and discourage such relationships.

The United States is a post-colonial nation, however, we in contemporary times often have a hard time truly understanding that, largely I suspect because of our economic success which has even overpowered that of our previous colonial masters in the British. However, the same way how we in the West and USA understand that certain African nations are troubled because of the divide-and-conquer systems applied by the British, this same sort of divide-and-conquer mentality is too fundamental to the United States.

Main Ideas by Quinton Mitchell: (1) People try to reduce interracial relations to fetishes, but those same people are fetishizing within “intra-racial” relationships. For example, people will try to hate on black male-white female interracial relationships by calling them fetishes, however, if a person hails a “Black Queen” in for example a white male-black female relationship, then people often don’t use the fetish accusation. Further, people advocating for explicit intra-racial (same race) relationships, ironically use fetishes themselves. Further, I bring up the idea that all humans fetishize things and fetishizing may be central to desire to varying degrees. (2) Left Wing concepts such as Self-Determinism under Post-Colonial frames of thinking can lead to a flattened “Separate but Equal” type of segregation, that is not much different than the hierarchical “top down” segregation found on the Political Right. Which alludes to the idea that Left Wing and Right Wing ideologies, can both be used as systems-of-control to maintain pre-existing systems such as racial segregation (3) Tiger Woods Syndrome, a term coined by me, Quinton Mitchell, which is the social phenomena of black people to consider and shame things that are perceived as white, but then later incorporate these things into black culture once popularized by black cultural leaders (4) “The Colonization of P-ssy” (however, crude that may be, where the intended crudeness is meant relate to online colloquialisms, urchin speak, etc.) is a term I coined writing this which is about how white males don’t get criticized as harshly as non-white men, notably black men, for interracial relationships, and this privilege that white men have dates to the Age of Discovery, the colonial era, etc. (5) The Denzel Effect is a term that may not be original but one that I thought of out of the blue to talk about how black confidence is often seen as dishonorable, whereas white confidence can be seen as honorable. However, this effect doesn’t obfuscate from that the fact that people of any race can simply rub people the wrong way and color is not a factor. (6) Take Me to Your Leader Mentality, is a term which may not be original, but I came up with out of the blue when writing on subjects relating to race, so if this term does exist, I created it in a type of “no original idea really exist” type of randomness. However, I intend this term to mean how black intellectuals often consciously or unconsciously winds up being seen as the “de facto voices” of the black experience, but these leaders, often to forget to explain, defend, and champion different black lifestyles which aren’t seen as the standard type of black culture. White liberals for example try to find what they consider to be intellectually and aesthetically “the blackest” person they can find to explain things, while not realizing the cultural complexities within black culture, and these assigned “black leaders” often have their own biases, gaps in understanding, etc., when it comes to black lifestyles which aren’t their own individually speaking.

Things I would tell young men about women as an older man. Non Incel and non-woman hating advice by Quinton Mitchell

Summary Notes: (1) Women don’t want to feel pressured, guilt tripped, emotionally manipulated or cornered into liking you. It is on them to like you even though you have to show them who you really are and be fine with “rejection”. Don’t see rejection as a sad thing but just another chance at freedom and possibility (2) We often put ourselves into situations where we projected our own expectations onto others, and when hurt, we have a tendency to blame others unilaterally rather than weighing the possibility of mutual or even self-blame. Yet, even if we are to blame, we have to find healthy outlets at coming to self-actualization rather than self-destruction, i.e., avoiding self-medicating, self-harm, lashing out at loved ones just to test their tolerances, etc. (3) Men often get hurt when they are rejected because it is about their utility (use, function, form, status, etc.), whereas women seem to get hurt because the female’s “power of appraisal and selection” is challenged. Men have to be self-aware and able laugh at yourself (4) Many women simply want a somewhat fun or engaging life with positive thinking, so a man having interests, thoughts, ideas, and dreams are central. Women like interesting men but being “too deep” can often scare women away for a platitude of reasons such as A) many women may think that thinking is their territory or B) thinking can come off as self-doubt. Yet, many men actually want women who are intrigued by things as well and who are interesting rather than simply wanting women who just want to “fit in” and conform, i.e., women can’t just sit back and expect people to entertain them, because men too get bored. In a world awash with beauty, beauty isn’t always what attracts a man. Loyalty and the ability to sense feelings and empowering his leadership is what a man often responds to. Men like to strategize, and woman are key forces in consulting men to be feel empowered to make decisions. (5) You don’t have rush into sex, even though that is the “love language” many need to express their feelings towards another. Even though we live in a world where it seems you need sex to vet a person, the truth with age is that emotional, lifestyle and mental connection matters more, because “the mysteries” of woman aren’t that big of a deal to a grown man. Connection is the true “aphrodisiac” than the simple physical act of rubbing body parts until release. Would you rather have a few orgasms here or there or…. have a person who gets you, understands you, respects your insecurities, but also have a good love life? (6) check yourself to ensure you’re not being a hypocrite and don’t always gaslight others as the problem (7) never lie to a woman yet don’t asks questions always where you may force a person to reveal something they aren’t quite ready to reveal or talk about since they may have moved beyond something. There’s a difference between being snoopy and being invasive rather than wanting honesty when an actual issue affecting both parties arises, and (8) bodies can change, get healthier, etc., so the grass isn’t always greener. Men and women will always respond to physical attractiveness of others, and this often can’t be avoided, or people simply enjoy admiring beauty. As long as a person is being respectful to their partners and not using this to force an image or lifestyle on another, or belittle their partner, then I think people have to be confident and mature in what they have and not read too much into things. Sometimes people look but don’t touch just to appreciate what they have or to get over feelings of what it is they think they are missing out on. (9) Many women are conscious to the fact that they are operating in a patriarchal system, so this is why women often like or find humorous things that subverts the status quo. I can’t define feminism, respectfully so, but if I had to simply describe it, feminism is the study by biological or gender assigned females to determine what it is to be a woman in absence of patriarchal overlordship but also within it and determining value by themselves and for themselves. Though many women wear the supposed “male gaze” version of femininity with honor as a means of owning it themselves/re-appropriating power (the sexualized woman, the synthesis between the “Madonna – Whore” complex, etc.), they are too aware that this what they are doing, and that this is all possibly absurd, and they, i.e., women, are actors within the male created system who are simply playing their part as we men project our insecurities onto the world. This is why women sometimes find it attractive when men subvert gender expectations since it shows they are aware of what women are on to and find it partially or equally as silly, which is that men are often operating as bots within a system they created and to their, well — our, own demise, but it also shows a sense of self confidence. Many women see men as boys playing boys game in a manufactured boy’s system where we are ironically killing ourselves as we worship our own cult of masculinity. In this regard, women are certainly smarter because it is us men who often lack self-awareness.

The biggest thing I would tell young men from my experiences would be that women don’t want to feel pressured or cornered into liking you.

A lot of men were trained that “good ole fashioned” “romantic” “can’t eat, can’t sleep” “waking her up with a radio with both of yours supposedly favorite song” “running through a rainstorm” type-of-effort somehow equates to the automatic commitment by a female. This is a reductionist view to female agency, i.e., women are simply machines where if given simple inputs will naturally guarantee intended outputs. The dangerous part of the other side of this coin is that many men find is acceptable to treat women horribly to show tha that they don’t care about what a woman thinks, and sadly some women do respond to this, but that is more so out of a woman’s own self-esteem issues (i.e., many woman have self-esteem issues so I suspect in an unhealthy way that woman seek men that treat them badly, hoping that the man sufficing for their own feelings, will actually venerate them from these emotional lows). Yet, women when they snap out of these self-hatred and self-esteem issues will resent you. Don’t be the guy they end up resenting because they feel like you tricked them into being into some sort of “emotional matrix” full of gaslighting, manipulation, etc.

In other words, the guys who think they are good guys but expect something in return by thinking pre-packaged gestures will equate to romance, and the men who purposely treat women badly to manipulate a woman’s tendency to self-criticize are the same type of man, just using different strategies to control women.

But good men do exist, and it should be a goal for everyone man to aspire to. Yet, the delicate art of being a good man is to just be one, and not “think about being one”. We know right from wrong, and even if there’s a subjective element to it, the universal factor of morality is the “golden rule”, i.e., treat those as you wish to be treated.

The goal is to be the man who just is, respects others, makes his intentions known but is cool if they are rebuffed, and to be the man who hopefully finds someone who respects you, gets you, and doesn’t see your vulnerability or openness as weakness but rather a virtue in a world that often lacks virtue.

The sad truth about “Men’s Rights” advocates is that they will…die alone. They like to poke fun at woman by alleging they will be “cat moms who need to invest in cat food stocks”, but many of these men can only achieve transactional relationships where they will never feel of the joy of being their true, nerdy, nice selves (which I would argue is most men — nerds intrigued by things that some woman may find trivial like history, strategy, philosophy, etc.).

Women are more likely to have social bonds and connections since women often are charged with caring for family members, organizing gatherings or birthday parties, going to churches, shopping, and relying on relationships, etc. Men’s Rights type of men live within a shell and are likely resentful on the inside, often secretly reflecting on the mechanization of their emotions, where they constantly try to rationalize and even fetishize their own dehumanization, often attaching themselves to surrogate antisocial pop culture figures (Patrick Bateman from American Psycho, Tyler Durden from Fight Club, Trent Reznor in the song “Only” — it is a good song even though Trent was being ironic I think to point out what I am talking about, etc.). You can tell they are hurting because their first tendency is to lash out, insult (call others simps, cucks, etc.), etc., as a means of shrouding their true self, no different than how the Wizard of Oz was a shell of a man behind the veil.

Things can be confusing for men because many of the stories or narratives where romantic tropes such as what I referred above are often liked by many females, and maybe in previous generations, such as our parents, i.e., Baby Boomers, the Silent Generation, etc., did respond to mass media differently, i.e., they copied verbatim what they saw on screen even though the messages may have been absorbing were regressive or at least patriarchal (as opposed to our modern hyperaware, self-referential, recycled and often cynical gaze towards pop culture).

Not only are men getting covertly toxic messages, they are also being told that they are toxic by females and social scientists (which has a large degree of merit considering the world is defined largely by patriarchy so men will naturally be criticized when analyzing structural issues — i.e., a possible type of Catch 22), but… there’s no real outlet for men to reach healthy self-actualization (that isn’t political for example – i.e., many modern men simply think the opposite of masculinity is progressive but this is a logical fallacy, yet a lot of feminist leftist thought does argue that masculinity is not progressive…), and this is why in part opportunists such as the Man-o-sphere (Men’s Rights movement) were able to take up social market-share and partially swing the gender dynamics pendulum back to a regressive place.

We need more of a school for progressive masculinity where there is healthy debate, but the central goal is self-reflection.

It is my personal belief that the Man-o-sphere is the actual outgrowth of actual Right-Wing funding of social sciences with the intention of bolstering the capitalist classes (I am not here to argue that capitalism is entirely bad) but then found itself gaining traction on the coattails of figures such as Jordan B. Petersen (a plant), yet the truth about the Manosphere was never about making the world a better place but rather reinforcing the top-down, elitist, hierarchal forces of market-capitalism and emboldening the status quo of the quasi-liberal bourgeoisie class (who need force often typified by the police-militaristic notions of masculinity and coercion to disrupt class consciousness to dissuade the reappropriating of one-percent’s assets). In other words, masculinity has been reduced to being a natural product, tool and commodity of capitalism and needed to reinforce capitalism’s tendency to be coercive to get what it wants and keep people as sheep within this system that requires a small amount of people to profit the most off of the majority of people exerting their labor energy, “economic caloric output”, etc.

Thus, we need more men to be honest about who we are rather than putting on a front, and help steer men into healthier outlets of self-criticism, but also being firm that men do deserve respect to, just like woman demand it. Respect is a balancing act, a seesaw, which should be fun to ride.

Yet, many women were also indoctrinated by society (movies, Instagram posts of supposedly perfect couples, pastiche of previous pop culture, air brushed beauty standards, etc.) that they are the prizes who should be competed for.

In other words, there’s toxic expectations on both sides, yet, exerting effort isn’t bad, nor is having expectations about how one feels they should be treated is bad. It only gets toxic when either gender uses the efforts of others to lead a person especially when they know there’s nothing forming there (i.e., women have to “woman up” and say they aren’t interested as of now), or if a person forces their way into another person’s life where the other people may feel their boundaries are being violated, even if the party forcing things are thinking they are doing the right thing (men have to realize no means no or get the message).

But, to make things less confusing, if a woman likes you, she likes you. You as the man got to take it slow, even though the “hunt” is hard, i.e., we’re tempted to feel overly ecstatic because men often don’t get as much attention as females do. Females often get so much unwanted attention they have to naturally reject men for their own personal safety, whereas many men get little to no female attention and often read too much into female communication.

But, from experience, a woman will make it easy for you if she likes you. It’s a hard pill for men to process because while she appraises men, you may be beat out another suitor, so this explains why men feel the need to be a little pushy and pitch themselves. It’s a damned if you, damned if don’t situation where you simply have to accept as a man and be cool with. If you don’t try, you’ll never know. Thus, being comfortable with rejection is a good thing, so that’s why you never sell yourself too hard, so the fall isn’t that detrimental.

To re-state, if a woman is interested, she’ll give cues such as a simple…asking you questions back and inquiring deeper about things, asking you for your name again even if she forgets initially (it’s oddly ruder when men forget a woman’s name, but somehow acceptable when women forget a man’s name), accepting and appreciating whatever awkwardness you give off. You just sort of know because he’s giving direct indirect signals. Since women don’t get reject as much, they seem to have a subconscious habit of being indirect and not always forward. I am no love guru, but one thing I used to do is if I met a woman who seemed cool, but I was in a rush, if I had noticed her a few times and vice versa (familiarity is a central), then I would give her my number and say “feel free to text me, no pressure. if not, and we see each other again, everything will be cool and no awkwardness”. This actually worked a few times. I was honest, I tried, and I didn’t push unnecessary pressure on her and disarmed myself that if rejected I wouldn’t be weird, especially at a place of employment where she’s just trying to get by. She may not be ready now, but she may remember (file) you for later. The more “genuine non-expectational interactions” you have, the more of a decent person you seem.

But back on course, women don’t like to feel cornered, or guilt tripped into liking a man.

Many women don’t want to hurt people’s feelings, but the unfortunate part of the “game” is rejection. If rejection didn’t exist, then there wouldn’t be special relationships, there would be no order, no one would know whose children are who’s, etc.

If the guy seems too clingy or emotionally fragile, then a woman might shy away for fear that she’ll be put in a position to “break a person’s heart” and then ruin a person’s life for a given amount of time. Or, even if a woman does give in, she may end up resenting the person who she felt emotionally manipulated her by essentially making her feel sorry for them.

Let’s be real, how many men feel they got their heartbroken by a female, but used that female rejection to make themselves into a better person? Many. So, in theory, who really hurt who? Who was using who? Did we not have the conscious choice to enter into a relationship or shoot our shot? Did the other person hurt you or did you put yourself into a situation where you didn’t get the message or signals and then when brutally shutdown or ghosted, you internalized this as being unilaterally the other person’s fault? It’s a possibility. Sure, maybe you have right to be angry, but all I am saying you have to be able to look into the mirror. Even if you feel you got screwed over, why let the other person still haunt you, hurt you? Don’t even give them the benefit of your inspiration, poetics or artistic abilities.

Yet, we teach men to be “stoic” as a means of hiding emotion rather than controlling and understanding emotion, but the problem with hiding emotion is that emotion isn’t being dealt with. Instead of finding light through the existential struggle of finding purposes and meaning as a “being”, many use stoicism to become…dark. Assholes, jerks, predators, etc. A man being “emotional” isn’t bad, but rather a man has to be aware that he’s being that way, ask why he’s feeling that way, and then determine if what is going on is a “you problem or them problem or a combination of both parties problem”. Many times, but not always, often, it’s a both parties problem, i.e., a misalignment of expectations, poor translation of communication, etc.

As a guy I know too well that many “alpha men” are really just emotional ticking timebombs, whereas many men that society may have called “beta males” actually have a better understanding of their own emotions. I have seen it time and time again and at nauseum. Men trying to live these simulated HBO Entourage fantasies (good show by the way if you get the hyperreality of the show) yet interestingly morph into these sorts of urban dwelling, catty, gossiping, sexually degenerate, drugged up, materialistic, pop culture trivial knowledge having people who can very rude and judgmental of others, because pretending to be a jerk is the laziest way of pretending to be superior. And it’s easy to blame this on “liberalism” but most of these guys are beef jerky Joe Rogan listeners at best and “Fresh and Fit Podcast” listeners at worst, anyways. These men were never intellectually “liberal” in our modern conception of the word (even though the term liberal is a shell-game word anyways considering it spreads the gambit of what we consider to be both Democratic and Republican, e.g., both base on liberal, i.e., enlightenment ideas) but were often clout chasers, going with whatever the wind blew, yet, exhibiting internalized toxic masculine (yes, I said it) traits, once society got tired of “wokeness”, they jumped ship to the nearest surrogate masculine ideology they could.

Yet, many women go after these men which are emotional time-bombs, and what I am saying is, don’t even entertain it. The modern issue with stoicism in men’s rights movements such as the notion of “Sigma Males” is that it’s not teaching men to understand emotion through self-reflection and being analytical about the hypocrisies of society – which includes but is not limited to patriarchal ideas or notions – but rather to make men into “productive emotionless drones” who seem to not care about fitting in, ironically on the grounds of being seen and respective for not caring, i.e., fitting in.

Women don’t to be cornered, guilt tripped, etc.,

However, to move on, women I think have a slight toxic trait which is them thinking they have a unilateral ability to observe and psychoanalyze things, and they are impervious to this themselves. In other words, women want to see everyone else, but don’t really want to be seen for who they are, hence they can put on a mask. Women are people watchers (and, yes, men are too, but I am saying it seems more a female characteristic).

It sounds childish, non-academic, non-intellectual, etc., but from experience, the less a woman realizes you notice them, they sort of notice you. The busier or engaged you are (I mean genuinely doing your thing rather than flaunting that you’re always busy to seem important — women can read through that), the more they seem to notice you, because…they can…observe you. They want to observe your raw emotions, reactions, how you interact with others, how others view you or don’t view you, how you deal being alone, around others, etc., and how comfortable you generally feel in your own skin. They want to see that you aren’t overthinking yourself. I remember playing football and a coach grabbed my helmet and said, “I was thinking too much” rather than “reacting”.

Why do women do this? I don’t know. A person who seems guided by a mission or purposes, even if it means doing the most basic things, i.e., working, taking care of yourself, catching up with people, etc., means a person isn’t really dwelling on life, thus they have survival characteristics. Women want to feel safe, and a way they do this is by observing and vetting your interactions, yet the only issue is women think this is a one way lane or power they have, so I am telling young men to let women have their powers, doing your thing, treat them with respect, but don’t get too hung up on them if they can’t interpret your value…but you have to have value, but having value doesn’t mean superficial, glib, materialistic things, but more so having a sense of being, striving to learn a skill, saving money, learning to appreciate life, finding joy, etc.

On an extreme end of this idea, it plays into the notion that a woman notices you once you get a woman or attention from others. Women use other women to vet men, i.e., if she thinks he’s good enough, then he must be. I joke it is how women wear or sometimes take each other’s clothes. Men seem to operate differently. Even though men may lust after the same women, once that woman is taken, i.e., used, then a male’s tendency to be competitive over women sort of kills off the attraction, and even more so if the woman is seen as being “passed around” by a group of men, it’s not necessarily that she’s sexual but indecisive in herself and emotionally not independent, i.e., she may be more of a headache to deal with and unstable herself. Also, the more partners a woman is seen has having to me doesn’t have to do with sex with age (feeling sexually insecure others “had her”) but more so safety, i.e., the more men she deals with more instances of possible hostility or even violence, especially if previous men from her past disrespect her. I am not saying this is right or wrong, or fair, but I am saying it is a social phenomenon, which can be triumphed over, but for the sake of this section I am appealing more often than not to base human reactions, desires, feelings, etc.

Why do women get hurt?

Women from my experiences get hurt when they get rejected too, but whereas a man gets devastated because his effort, utility, etc., were rejected, thus is being, a woman gets hurt when she realizes her “power of appraising, vetting, and observation” didn’t work out. How men are betting on their effort, women are betting on their ability to have selected right.

This power is so central to females that when a relationship goes sour and the man she wants is no longer interested, she sees it as something wrong with her ability to have appraised correctly. Women are the shoppers of the species. The are the “genetic furniture arrangers”. I say this because shopping requires consent, i.e., in order for a woman to be happy and for the species to consensually procreate, the woman ultimately has to choose, even though the product, the man, has to pitch himself. Imagine being rejected by your own clothes, the furniture in your house, i.e., the things you purposely put into your life to doll up your life (control it) to make into the vision you had for yourself.

In a way, a woman getting rejected, just like men getting rejected can be a growing experience, especially if one looks into the mirror and doesn’t put all the blame on the other but takes ownership of their own mistakes. The same way how Incels on the extreme fringes, all the way to the normal everyday aggrieved men try to paint women that hurt them as femme fatales, many women likely do the same with what I like to call the “Billie Holliday broken female” musings.

The same way how men can set up women to be the villains of their “glow up” “get back into the gym, eat beef jerky or protein powder” “triumphant story arc”, women can do the same thing with men, i.e., using men as the villains to get back to their “little black dress, hoping a random stranger buys you a drink at a bar” “Stella got her groove back” moment.

So, this goes back to what I was saying about irony previously. Who really hurt who?

Maybe we are all using people as objects to test our own realities/challenge our own ontologies, selfishly (where selfishness is in part a natural part of existence, i.e., self-preservation, self-comfort, etc.), but we often but not always make this mistake without realizing it (since we were indoctrinated to think certain behaviors guaranteed success), yet, when our realities and expectations are challenged, we either internalize the hurt in a purely narcissistic way of being unilaterally aggrieved, or we can positively use this existential situation to check our own behavior, and that of the other person, yet hopefully come to a sort of balanced situation.

A healthy person can put themselves on trial (a very healthy person may come to the verdict that in some cases he or she alone were at fault), whereas the opposite points fingers at others, blames others, and instead uses the hurt to encase and reinforce their potential toxic tendencies (note: I am saying toxic as opposed to “anitsocial” because antisocial is an actual clinical designation framework that I feel is personally misused by the general public as means of pointing to behaviors an individual subjectively doesn’t like).

But I am not saying don’t blame others if blame is actually due, but rather just don’t jump to automatic conclusions all the time that how you feel is someone else’s fault. Sometimes the people we think hurt us don’t even realize it and once confronted with it, they don’t know how to handle it. But you do have legitimate sociopaths out there who simply want to see what other can do for them and then will hurt, triangulate, etc.

As a disclaimer, throughout this post I am talking mostly about situations where people have choice to enter and leave, and where there was no sort of physical force or detrimental emotional manipulation involved. For example, if a person is physically attacked or assaulted, it is never the victim’s fault. I am speaking purely from non-criminal, awkward, daily interactions between men and woman (however, I am not trying to be exclusionary to any same sex or non-binary people who may resonate with any of the words I am talking about, but I can only speak from a straight viewpoint, i.e., Westernized, biologically male, cisgender heterosexual perspective).

Before I end this, I want to say never lie to a woman.

It’s tempting or maybe even a knee jerk reaction to embellish our lives a bit to seem more interesting, tough, cool, important than what we are, but genuine honestly will always serve you best.

If you don’t know something, say I don’t know.

However, you are entitled to your privacy. For example, there’s certain questions I just wouldn’t ask my partners because what does it matter anyways? I am not one to ask about “body count” or past relationships because A) why make your partner relive the past and possibly relive a romance or trauma? and B) sometimes prying too much just to set up a person with being forced to tell you the truth is a little…rude. Somethings are just left unasked for. As long as things from a person’s past aren’t criminal or public to the extent of affecting the present of future in a detrimental sense, then I find it best to leave things in past.

For example, I wouldn’t ask a woman what her body count is, however, let’s say a woman was…a porn actress. This hasn’t happened to me, but it seems to be a trope recycled through men’s talk shows, but to me is, if it’s public, i.e., something that will affect our future or require me to defend her honor or social standing or even job (even if I accept her past) then I should know so I am prepared, but I don’t need to know about private encounters. You just have to hope that the person you’re with now is a decent human being who didn’t do things in the past out of pure selfish indulgence knowing they could bury things and then lead a boring life that neuters or domesticates you, where you as the partner are on the hook for conforming to overly conservative standards and denial of your legal desires.

Summary to the fellas. Be cool, be chill. Come in peace. Learn to live with rejection but also don’t beat yourself up. Realize sometimes we have the blinders on and try to force things and we set ourselves up for being hurt, etc. Don’t corner or guilt trip women, but also don’t unnecessarily pander to them either. Sympathize when sympathy is due.

Social Media Destroyed the World. Let’s Be Real. It ruined so much by Quinton Mitchell

Referencing the film Fight Club is quasi-cringey because it represents every angry, in your twenties, posters on the wall without a frame, cliff-note Bukowski, jaded, wannabe Nietzschean “edge lord” that most of us, especially men, have dealt with.

But almost in my forties, over most things, and arguably…content mostly, etc., I do admit I daydream about how Edward Norton saw the banking buildings at the end of the film go down in rubble, but instead of banks, I envision social media companies. Seeing all the symbols come crashing down to Earth. The blue bird of Twitter, well – now the way too bright X shinning down in San Franscisco as drug addicts hiss in piss filled streets being bought up by hedge funds like BlackRock or Vanguard. The F of Facebook. The almost Hello Kitty looking camera symbol of Instagram. This, that, whatever. Yet, before I get flagged, I just want to say I’m not really serious – at least about any violence or destruction, though a world without social media, at least as it is now, would be much better, healthier, etc.

But I don’t hate Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Dorsey, etc., though, yes, Elon is lame, but when I think of a person like Mark or Jack, I see optimists who had a dream they couldn’t’ control and still can’t control but can’t admit they don’t have control because they’re in charge of capitalist enterprises bent on profits. In other words, Mark, etc., signed out and could care less if the world burns. This adds on more to the irony. Analogous to demi-gods they created a universe but are letting it crumble because they didn’t comprehend the sheer power.

Books aren’t dead but they very well may be dead. To read means to sign out, and to feel catharsis must now be shared instead of silently appreciated by oneself. Basic cable, though organized and safe, doesn’t stimulate us as much as streaming where we can customize our experiences. Social media reigns supreme but still it’s…inhuman. Maybe it’s too convenient? With such an easy way of getting information, maybe it’s making us dumber, yet living in a world that requires us to keep track of the ever-growing interconnectivity of things, that is why people are…depressed? Stupidity mixed with complexity creates a dialectical tension that leads to hopelessness as one realizes they become masters-of-none, just repositories of trivial information.

At least, you get off with porn, though sure, many will say that too is bad, yet at least you get a spike of some naturally occurring chemicals in your body.

With basic social media…what is it even really for? To feel bad? To flex wealth? To juxtapose our romantic relationships against that of others to remind us that we should be happy where we are rather than being “single” or with someone else? To pretend to be a wise sage even though deep down instead you’re just speaking to yourself but through others without the fear of having to actually deal with…people? Are we just projecting our fears out onto the electric ether just like how a child who sees a scary movie will tell his or her friends about it, so they too are afraid but in that collective fear comes comfort, solace?

I think a healthy New Years resolution would be to spend less time on social media. And I get that is hard because in many ways we have “social media friends”, i.e., people we’ve met online who we’ve vetted who are people we consider to be on friendly terms with though you may not have ever physically have met the person. People who know you exist and are a person with a life in a world that may not see that. There are also legitimate close ties with people in your actual personal lives (friends, family, co-workers, business connections, etc.). Yet, the good parts aside, the truth is social media has destroyed the planet.

As with most tools, humans get utility out of it, but most tools become corrupted because of our innate nature as self-serving, self-preserving, aggressive yet passive-aggressive creatures. Instead of saying hello, we spy and snoop. Instead of trying to find common ground, we instead agitate an already agitated public. Instead of pursing our dreams in the real world, we scroll.

We don’t even need to fear Artificial Intelligence because we as humans have a good enough job at driving ourselves crazy, making alternative universes, pushing a culture of solipsistic post-truths, etc.

It will take us as a society to teach the social media companies a lesson by not spending so much on time so they can’t mine our data, etc.

Social media is a postmodern cesspool of racial tension against all groups, conspiracy theories (spanning the Great Replacement Theory, the New World Order, Blood Libel by Jews, a belief we are being turned gay, etc.), racial conspiracy theories, antisemitism, misogyny, sovereign citizens, Qanon, Manosphere & Men’s Rights shaming videos that feed the insatiable appetites of Incels across the blob of angry men who LARP (live action role play) in video games about killing people or dying honorably in battle. Men who struggle with women and publicly commit to “no fapping” (masturbating) as a means of tapping into their inner Marcus Aurelius but taking out their sexual repression on women by providing “fatherly words of wisdom” to women who they think have no minds of their own. How many Pakistanis, Saudis, or other horny Middle Eastern men using VPNs to access Western porn/women are the ones actually crying about their alleged addictions?

Let’s not forget the Instagram “thirst trap” models of large squat sculpted buttocks, sultry MILFs, what have you, but also…bot accounts, covert government operations both foreign and domestic, etc. Or wait, the annoying street interviewers attempting to make people seem stupid or lost for whatever agenda they are really about, such as “drinking liberal snowflake tears.” 

You never know if its Iranian intelligence firms with bot armies infiltrating black “woke” Marxist liberation sites to stoke anti-whitey sentiments because Iran knows they have a backdoor plug into the Black American community via Muslim adjacent hate groups such as the Nation of Islam with figures such as Rizza Islam.

You never know if Israel Unit 8200 bot accounts ran by drafted Israeli teens are stoking racial division to keep the eyes away from Israel and that it’s not Jews behind the scenes but rather hordes of Muslim refugees flooding Europe who will topple the West.

You never know if Russian bot accounts are stoking unrest by infiltrating American Conservative politics as a means of depicting the West as a “corrupt, amoral, Sodom and Gomorrah” so more and more paranoid white Americans and Europeans see Putin as “big daddy savior” of Christendom.

You never know if what you’re seeing is being ran by a legitimate cult who are pushing every New Age conspiracy theory that intends to unravel our linear view of history apart. You never know if hate groups like the Aryan Brotherhood, or any other aspiring group are behind many accounts. You never know if it’s the CIA, FBI, DEA, ATF, local police, MI5/6, Mossad, etc.

We are literally living in a William Gibson Neuromancer nightmare, and we all know it, but we don’t know how to express it because outside of social media, in perfect American fashion for example, we’ve all been trained to be self-serving individuals. Despite out own quiet desperations and ennui, if we see such melancholy elsewhere, we are now trained to simple walk over the dying bodies of others, because we are too busy “manifesting” our own happy little worlds. Any whiff of negativity could lead to the dreaded…unfollow.

It is everything that Philip K Dick lost his mind over.

Social Media is arguably MK Ultra 2.0. A brainwashing tool for various parties, some in unison, and some in opposition, who fart out toxicity to scramble the general public’s brain.

I’ve literally been seeing people get murdered on social media. Seeing the N word is just commonplace now and even if reported, sites like Instagram do nothing. Nudity is even acceptable.

The thing is…it’s all insanity. It’s to the point where I make it a hobby to block accounts. I’ll literally try to block 50 a day because many are just replica accounts, often pushing Right Wing social conditioning that mixes a denunciation of progressive politics with a worship of capitalist greed, misogyny, Abrahamic religion, doomsday Revelation fears, etc. It’s as if the Koch Brother Foundation along with the John Birch Society wrote a blank check and gave it to a bunch of Young Republican college kids and shills like Charley Kirk to fart out as many bot accounts as they can as a means of pulling the youth to the far right, just because rich people or aspiring rich people want a tax break.

Social media is a joke

Deconstructed to an animal impulse the only thing on social media that makes me somewhat happy is a combination of food porn, glamour shots of retro porn actresses from the 90s to 80s, history stuff, and models in yoga pants.

Sex, food, daydreams

The only way to really fix social media is to (1) Dox everyone, i.e., make it some everyone’s real first name, age, and country of origin is on their profile because this will expose the armies of chaos agents stoking tension. Imagine if that Right Wing Anti-SJW account is owned by Boris in some oblast in Russia or Ahmed as the IT guy working with the Iranian Revolutionary guard or a Jewish kid with braces doing a high school project funded by the IDF. (2) Limit the number of accounts a person can have/hunt down replica accounts and limiting how many times a specific video can be uploaded or using digital forensics of some sort to post the date that photos or videos were taken in order to add context to conversations. For example, a racist account intent of shaming black people will upload frequent videos of black crime or racial tension when certain videos may be very old, but pretending they are new helps to feed the current narrative that black people are these “ungrateful criminals” intent on “killing the white man”. (3) More culturally sensitive content moderators because an Indian person in a cubical may not get certain American nuances or vice versa. (4) An active campaign to fight conspiracy theories by having users list sources. (5) Partnerships with sites such as Ground News to help show the political biases of articles (6) continued parental controls

Social media is too cerebral.

It reveals everything ugly about us without any way of making us better. Even most self-help just serve to reduce one into a consumerist bot.

But I saw some good food and yes, some great feminine, squat-sculpted powerful buttocks in an array of multi-colored synthetic material leggings. At least I am honest.

Am I Jack Gladney from White Noise? Are we all?

#philosophy #relationships #socialmedia #technology #books